At Piranha's

Me and Ruben at Piranha's, downtown Nashville.

The UF

Flag of the UF

New York, United Nations Press Release —
Due to a lack of success with peacekeeping operations around the globe, we have forged a new global military power called the United Forces (UF). This new coalition, composed primarily of forces from the United States, members of the European Union, Russia, and Israel will be the first of its kind in working together to annihilate all armed conflicts around the globe and intervene with overwhelming military force. This global power will largely replace failing UN peacekeeping operations.

Contrary to previous UN peacekeeping ideals, the UF will engage all its enemies offensively. Its first mission will be to bring a swift and violent end to piracy off the coast of Somalia and semi-autonomous region of Puntland. Its next focus will be to crush the many rebel groups in the Eastern Congo-Rwanda region and a bring a decisive end to the operations of Al-Qaeda and other terrorist groups in the Middle East and the Taliban in Afghanistan.

"It's about time we stepped up and did something," said UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon in this week's Security Council meeting, "No one likes war, but if you are to end wars, you have to fight. We have tried defensive peacekeeping. In many cases, that has turned out to be the equivalent of sitting there and doing nothing. When you are facing an enemy that kills, rapes, and plunders with impunity, it does no good to just sit there and do nothing."

The announcement has been greeted with mixed results. There have been violent protests by anti-war peace activists in reaction to the Security Council's decision to use force by deploying the UF around the globe. "We don't believe violence is ever the answer," said one peace activist, "Even if someone attacks innocent civilians and commits horrible acts of genocide, we don't believe we should kill them. Make love, not war, man!" as he hurled a beer bottle at police.

One Friday night at Mad Donna's

It was a strange night that Friday as I got off work and met the girls at the bar, all four of them, and I was the only guy. My friend Collette already had a few and she told me I was driving her ass back home. Okay, I said, I guess I would have to be the designated driver. They were already drunk and I sat at the table and sipped some beers and entertained myself listening to the drunk girl talk. Then Susie decides she needs more cigarettes so we go across the street to the gas station and while we're in line she starts to ask the guy in line if he is married, etc... I said "Susie, don't bother the man, " but the guy says, "Oh, that's okay, she's not bothering me. Actually, I am married..."
"Where is your wife?" asks drunk Susie.
"She's in Kuwait. She's coming back and I'm about ready to ship out. We're both Army..."
Then Susie gets her cigarettes and I drag her back to the bar where we drink more till they all decide to go clubbing.

We all get in Ashley's car (she shouldn't have been driving) and we get to the club and while parking the car Ashley backs up into some other car's bumper. Ashley freaks out and I get out and check for damage but there was not a scratch so we take off and find another parking spot and we all head to the club.

At the club the girls all start to booty dance on the dancefloor. I hang back at the bar but then Collette drags me to the dancefloor where I attempt to keep up with her dancing but I soon get tired and go back to the bar. It was getting late and by now I was planning how I was gonna get them all home. Finally Susie and Collette are ready to go but Ashley decides to stay with her other two friends who want to go somewhere else and party some more, so I said wait here and I'll be back, so I walk to my car and I drive Susie and Collette home and then go all the way back to the club. By now it was 3am and they were not in such good shape. Ashley's two friends give up and decide to call it a night and I am stuck with drunk Ashley who I've never met before but I know she's got a boyfriend, so I drive her back home and end up getting home pretty late and exhausted.

Back home I finally have a few shots of Bacardi and get drunk proper. So that was my Friday night. Drunk posting, folks. Tell me your stories.